@meganamram: I have a friend visiting from out of town. What's your fave place in LA to look at your phone??
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@kv8: Must suck to see your ex getting married. I wouldn't know, all mine have died in mysterious, firey car crashes.
@Sickayduh: [recording studio] Producer: Um what're you guys doing? Singer: Ending the song Producer: You don't have to fade out. We'll do that in here.
@kwirkyKerri: "I really regret not taking up bow hunting" I think as my neighbor fires up his chainsaw at first light.
@iwearaonesie: wife: You're going to work like that? me: Yeah, it's casual day [20 minutes later] *calls wife* me: Can you bring me a shirt?