@osno13: i have a heavy flow maxi pad in my wallet so it looks like i have lots of money
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@Gwinifer: Safe to say a good 38% of my life is spent trying to sleep while the 18yr old stomps through the house like an angry triceratops.
@SteveSuckington: "I'm still a virgin" -theres plenty of fish in the sea "Ur right. I'll find someone" -no, I mean u should give up & be a lonely fisherman
@dubstep4dads: Me: this is bullshit. conditioner and shampoo in one? impossible Walmart employee who I have in a headlock: sir I didn't make the shampoo
@XplodingUnicorn: 3-year-old: *sits at the table forever without touching anything* Me: *eats one cold chicken nugget* 3: THAT WAS MINE!