@kumailn: "I have a hunch." - Inspector Quasimodo
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@man_spach: *tries several times to connect to the internet using a dial-up modem* *reaches #1 on the dubstep charts*
@AdviceFromDino: Asked for Cheez-its Wife buys Cheese Nips Now she's sitting in the corner thinking about what she did.
@juliussharpe: Oscar Pistorius has the worst alibi ever. Who the hell would break into your house to rob your bathroom?