@MattMelvin: I have a sixth sense of humor. I laugh at dead people.
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@sheseemslegit: Dear Fox news, I have yet to see any news about foxes. Sincerely, disappointed viewer.
@Midgetspar: Lets all Twittercide at the same time & not tell a Will Smith parody account, 1 dog account, & all the zombie people just to freak him out.
@adult_mom: I hate when people ask if my newborn is a "good baby" and I have to tell them that he cries a lot and about how he keeps robbing banks
@GrrrRach: If Jehovah's witnesses brought red wine and Pringles with them, I'd gladly let them in to spend an afternoon chatting about religion.