@omgthatspunny: I have an eating disorder; I'm about to eat dis order of fries, dis order of wings, and dis order of nuggets.
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@thatUPSdude: Her: You didn't come to my Halloween party! Me: Yes I did Her: No, what were you? Me: A ninja Her: I didn't see you Me: Like I said "ninja"
@stephenjmolloy: Therapist: Why are you here? Me: Ahh, the great existential question. Why are any of us- Therapist: No, I mean your appointment is tomorrow.
@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car