@wittwitbarista: I have an ungodly amount of Taco Bell hot sauce packets for being a grown woman who's nutritionally responsible for two children.
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@SamuelHLowe: That awkward moment when someone is washing dishes and you slowly put your glass in the sink.
@dsmitty62: Told my mom I hit 1200 Twitter followers. She pointed out how my brother owns a house and I'm wanted by several collection agencies. Oh ma!
@UNTRESOR: If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I'd probably do something super crazy, like loiter.