@drunkNnaughty: I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.
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@ohheyohhihello: BELLHOP: May I take care of your bags? ME: Of course! BELLHOP: [gently applies seven layers of concealer under my eyes]
@thezwickers3: In order to get my teenagers attention I shut off the WiFi router and wait for them in the room it's in.