@djderk: I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life if I die next thursday
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@thepunningman: Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports
@VodkaThursday: Next wedding Im saying its a open bar but when u get there its going to be cash.Just b/c its a 3rd wedding doesnt mean u can skip it slacker
@briangaar: See those guys? They apply ordinary grammatical structure and natural flow of speech, rather than rhythmic structure. They're real prose.
@EliTerry: I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won't find them.