@djderk: I have enough money to live comfortably the rest of my life if I die next thursday
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@NYC_Blonde: I hate when my boyfriend's snoring wakes me up and then I realize it was my snoring and I don't have a boyfriend and I'm going to die alone.
@SteveDutzy: Give a man a fish and he'll go to McDonald's instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald's
@simoncholland: Let's get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning you can braid hair while I pack lunches and we can all be late.
@StellaGMaddox: I grounded my kid from electronics for a week and now he won't stop talking to me and I think I've made a horrible mistake.