@Arroia: I have failed math eleventeen times or so.
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@gerryhallcomedy: Women have a good 6th sense. I smiled at a girl in the mall once. When I got home I opened the door and my wife met me with a drop kick.
@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@trojansauce: [getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie