@dog_feelings: i have locked myself in the bathroom. do not ask me how it happened. because i don’t have that information. hopefully. my stuffed fren sebastian. has already called. the proper authorities
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@jonnysun: be careful tonight honey, guys ur age only want one thing.... sports. so b careful not to look too much like sports out there
@WilliamAder: Putting my Christmas decorations on the house across the street so I can, you know, see them.
@LizHackett: Having an older dog means ten seconds after you drop a piece of food, you have to drop an even bigger piece of food so they can find it.
@NoticablyBacon: Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single