@WilliamAder: I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
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@KoJo_Sunshine: I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas
@ilovepie84: I bet when David Hasselhoff gets too drunk he roams the streets screaming "KITT!" When he can't find his car.
@Cravin4: There is nothing sexier than when she locks eyes with me as she finishes... ..Frying the bacon
@ClassicMegan: If I were a waitress, I'd be planting fake engagement rings in every girl's food, just to see their boyfriends panic.