@WilliamAder: I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
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@MickSnark: Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago.
@MariyaAlexander: Your Harvard education doesn't make me respect you more - it makes me respect Harvard less.
@AmandasNotFunny: Sitting in my car eating McD's, and I hear a quiet voice behind me go: "Here, we have The Fat Woman in her natural habitat.."
@WilliamAder: Whenever someone tells me they have an IQ of 140, I wonder if that's Fahrenheit or centigrade.