@LeagueofNope: I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!
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@sixfootcandy: Me: (filling the medicine cabinet with ping pong balls) Him: What are you doing? Me: I invited your family over for dinner tonight.
@64spoons: Know when to holdem *Pick up panties Know when to foldem *Fold em Know when to walk away *Leave laundromat Know when to run *Girl chasing me
@Bob_Janke: If you spend "up to $9000" on my funeral it better be on some kind of mechanism that makes me sit up in the casket when people walk by.
@nurserycrimes: a romantic scene where we're running toward each other but then i run past you and pick up your dog