@maisonwithapen: Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority

@tweeterreader36: If you catch me doing a selfie at work, at least offer to take the pic for me.

@SteveSuckington: [first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?

@_TayTayJustine: How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool

@noneofyours99: dear trolls