@KKAlThani: I have two feelings in Ramadan, it's either "I'm hungry" or "I shouldn't have eaten this much"
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@nerdreign: I earned a masters degree and a doctorate; I have $413.21 in assets. Weird Al Yankovic is worth 11 million. Kids, don't stay in school.
@dubiousgenius: WIFE: Having your phone in your jeans pocket will make you infertile & stop us having more kids ME: *shoves 10 phones & microwave in pocket*
@RichardDawkins: I can't think of many people who deserve to go to hell, but people who teach its existence to vulnerable children are prime candidates.