@patnspankme: I haven't been this confused about what's going on since The Cranberries yodeled that one song about zombies.
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@sadmonsters: Why is everyone worried about meteors instead of the possibility that Russia just got their own Superman?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Coworker: These heels are killing my feet but they're so cute. Me: These ugly Sketchers I'm wearing have insides made out of memory foam.
@jjax44: I start, but can rarely complete my paintings and sculptures, for I am a master of the partial arts.
@Book_Krazy: Me: you can't just be pretty. You have to be smart too! 8: But mom, you're pretty. Me: Awe thank......wait what?