@Moldy_Jellybean: I haven't had a good nights sleep since I started wondering what holds up those blocks in Mario.
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@alldrolledup: It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit.
@SteveKoehler22: Staples is attempting a hostile takeover of its rival Office Depot. Office Depot has retaliated by snapping rubber bands at Staples.
@qwertying: Husband: Why are there broken condoms on our couch? Wife: Would you please call our children by their real names.