@bingowings14: I haven't said a single truthful thing on here since I became the King of Sweden.
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@SteveSuckington: [approaches parent with child on a leash] "Mind if I pet your dog?" Hey that's my son! "Oh my bad. Mind if I pet your son?"
@WhiskeySoured: If you feel like you're going through a rough patch, just remember that it only lasts through adulthood.
@WilliamRodgers: This kid at the Bar just told me Nickelback is a better band than Metallica.... Long story short....Send bail money...