@Boleyngirly: I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
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@christinaloca: Me: I’m an atheist. Nothing is on purpose. Nihilism 4eva Also me: *sees my birthday numbers anywhere* this is a sign.
@LeBearGirdle: [America's Got Talent] Howie: so how long have you been juggling chainsaws? Me: actually *lights them on fire* this will be my first time
@TeflonPawn: By the power vested in me by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.