@iAmDelFreaky: I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
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@1followernodad: I've started replacing "yes" with "sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti."
@TheBeerGuy73: Today I saw a bird shit on somebody for no apparent reason at all. Then I thought of you.
@SteveDutzy: FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say "EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN" Then watch how mad he gets.