@iAmDelFreaky: I heard my cat walking down the hall because his claws are too long. Then I realized I hadn't taken off his tap shoes since the photo shoot.
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@bridger_w: Before I get off the subway, I like to turn around, look at the other passengers, and say, "I'll never forget the time we spent together"
@SteveInevitable: While texting a girl she told me "I'm board" so I stopped seeing her. I wasn't offended. I just don't date wood. Or people who can't spell.