@Anti_Joke_Apple: I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg.
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@Sarcasmo718: When I'm sad I drive over to Keanu Reeve's house and watch him check the mailbox for scripts.
@ArfMeasures: SCIENTIST: I want you to meet my robot ME: Wow SCIENTIST: He has limited functionality. He can't hold a conversation or express emotion ME: Ok SCIENTIST: I was talking to the robot
@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.