@duplicitron: I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@daemonic3: [spelling bee] Your word is 'effusive' "E-F-F-U-S-I-V-E" That is correct. What was your name? "It's Siv" I know lmao [hi5s other judge]
@Sean_Burgundy_: [ 3 AM ] Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded Me: Do you have snacks in your car? Friend: No Me: *Hangs up
@sweetandweak: I wear a neck brace to the gym because it makes my physical ineptitude less embarrassing.
@ColeyGuacamole_: When you say "9 out of 10 forest fires are caused by humans" all I hear is "there's a bear out there who knows how to use matches."