@duplicitron: I heard that processed meats are just as bad for you as cigarettes so I'm walking around smoking a hot dog looking cool as hell.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jerrypleasure: (1st day as a doctor) Me:No heartbeat Nurse:Sir,heart is on left side Me:Ohh,is it Patient:(Staring at me as if I had kissed his wife)
@HavocMantis: *goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! "no one'll take you seriously-" *switches to double barrel finger guns* "do what he says"
@UniqueDude2: ME: WOW! Bigfoot! BIGFOOT: Hey Smallfoot M: U call us Smallfoot? BF: U have small feet M: no, urs r big BF: mine r normal M: huh BF: see ya
@JermHimselfish: I need to hire someone to follow me around and abruptly drag a needle across a record every time that I enter a room.