@gorrdano: I help morning mall walkers get their blood flowing by chasing them down with a chainsaw.
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@jnapsalot: Came home to my husband watching ID Channel, dinner cooked and an empty sink. I have never feared for my life and been simultaneously turned on than I am in this moment.
@RedheadChaos: Officer, I swear there is a simple explanation.. ~me standing in the street with no pants, one sock and a turkey baster in my hand
@Gooooats: I'm a Civil War reenactor but I only reenact the time General Ambrose Burnside took a three hour nap.