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@beefman138: I highly recommend anything.
@mollzbenn: It's amazing how much you can get away with by wearing an orange vest and a hard hat. I've been digging a hole in this Forever 21 for hours.
@vinfury: If you play your cards right, I could be your 2nd and 4th husband.
@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
@shutupmikeginn: 'Pampers' is a good product name because it implies being able to poop in your disposable underwear is a great luxury
@jngraphs: *Tweets funniest tweet ever
*Over 6 billion die laughing
*Germany and Russia survive
*Coz nobody left to explain the joke