@Cheeseboy22: I hope at the end of the movie, Batman and Superman have to sit down and write a list of all the things they appreciate about each other.
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@DirtMcTurd: I don't need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes
@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.
@PhuckinCody: *watches a show about global warming* Yeah whatever, doesn't affect me. *watches a show about bear attacks* Would I be able to take a bear?
@LosLos__: HR: You said: You're "moist" welcome? Me: Autocorrect. HR: You're fine. Me: Sweet! HR: I meant: you're fired. Autocorrect.