@hunz74: I hope "citibank" is better at math than spelling.
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@WornOutMommy: I offer kid $1 to do a chore. He sticks dollar in pocket. I get dollar back on laundry day. Lather. Rinse. Repeat!
@primawesome: I pet my dog and he didn't wag his tail. Is he seeing someone else? Is the magic gone? Do we need to spice things up? I'll dress like a cat.
@meganyyb: Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?
@TheTweetOfGod: Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment.