@hunz74: I hope "citibank" is better at math than spelling.
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@iwearaonesie: if people really didn't want to hear smartass responses they wouldn't keep asking questions like "do you know why i pulled you over?"
@Audenary: Vicar: The bride and groom have written their own vows. *Everyone lets out a huge groan as Tolstoy reaches into his suit pocket*
@IRLPepperMD: [guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] "please go skiing with me I am so alone"