@GloriaFallon123: I hope Kim and Kanye surprise everyone and name this next kid something like Bill or Jen
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@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.
@GuyEndoreKaiser: Yes, curling is silly and basically janitorial work, but that guy's gonna have a gold medal, and all you'll have is your joke about curling.
@OneFunnyMummy: My 3 moods: 1. I'm too tired for this shit 2. I'm too old for this shit 3. I'm too sober for this shit
@fro_vo: presidents day is just a holiday created by "Big President" to get us to buy more presidents