@lazerdoov: I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I'll already be done my work and I can leave early
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet
@UncleDuke1969: (Trump rally) Trump: I’ll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California’s drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*
@novicefather: I DO help with the laundry. My wife just doesn't understand. I wear the same jeans for like two weeks straight.
@bammersacat: This holiday season, tell your kids the smoke detector is Santa’s camera and watch them clean their rooms like army cadets.