@Caissie: I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
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@DamienFahey: If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral.
@huntigula: "I'd have to say my two favorite things are sex, and not having my head bitten off." -soon to be disappointed praying mantis
@Sassafrantz: Sorry I unfriended you after seeing your Facebook "Year In Review" but it was bad enough the first time.
@internetluke: [cops showing wife my body] "Why is he 50m from where he got shot?" "Our best guess was he tried crawling home to clear his browser history"