@carlyken: I hope the zombies start with people that talk to me when I'm obviously counting.
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@smickable: My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom.
@CulturedRuffian: I scream, You scream, We all scream because grandma is visiting for Christmas and she forgot her hearing aids again.
@dlockw21: Being a parent is great because you get to start conversations like: Hey buddy, don't leave your tooth on the coffee table.