@TheTalkingPipe: I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@alan_maguire: I'm watching two crows fight over a toothbrush. Crows don't even have teeth, it's just capitalism making them want things they don't need
@GingerGander: A new study says vegetarians die younger than smokers, on average, so don't smoke your vegetables...
@3sunzzz: Many years ago I took a Cosmo quiz to discover the best names for my future kids. Seamen and Boomquifa have yet to appreciate my efforts.
@FeelingEuphoric: *flicks cigarette after a long drag* Here's the thi— *coughs for like ten minutes straight bc I've never smoked before*