@MrScottEddy: I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard.
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@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
@panmidwest: COP: I need to see some ID ME: [hands him ID] COP: this isn't yours ME: you said "some" COP: lol wow good point you're free to go
@LackOfShame: Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here