@TomSchally: I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrödinger house is quite stressful.
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@TheRobCee: Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying "poop deck" & snickering.
@Gooooats: I accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it told me I have Gary Busey.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [me as a ninja] [a smoke ball is thrown in a park] [when the smoke clears, all of the dogs in the park have stealthily been petted]
@david8hughes: [at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. "He's a cat though." [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?