@TomSchally: I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrödinger house is quite stressful.
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@Book_Krazy: "Whoa nice car" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] "What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"
@moose_chocolate: For Easter, I will hide pieces of IKEA furniture all over the house and then have my kid assemble it. If she succeeds, she gets chocolate.
@carlyken: *Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says
@NicCageMatch: Ugh why is my bag so heavy? *goes through bag* ok keys, wallet, book, sandwich, water, anvil, other sandwich, human baby, no I need all this