@TomSchally: I imagine Christmas morning at the Schrödinger house is quite stressful.
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@ExtraGrumpyCat: This year I'm going to put the mistletoe in my back pocket, so people I hate can kiss my ass.
@Kimgee8: Relationship status: the doorbell rings, my heart is pounding, it's the pizza delivery guy. Three-cheese, double toppings, thick crust.
@ArfMeasures: ME: Humans have 10,000 taste buds. Cats have 470 SON: So cats don't have much taste CAT [watching the emoji movie] haha this is hilarious
@suzieQ0007: My Canadian 4yo just told me he wants to be Captain America if anyone wants to take a traitor off my hands.