@Thynebear: I imagine Hell is just a place where you watch a montage of people's hands you've shook that didn't wash them after they used the bathroom.
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@jlock17: If our children don't learn cursive, how will they ever be able to read those inspirational tattoos people put on their ribs?
@neiltyson: Mysteries of #Gravity: Why Bullock's hair, in otherwise convincing zero-G scenes, did not float freely on her head.
@i_Lean: Just remember Mom, you can't spell "disappointment" without "appointment" which reminds me I have to be at Hooters at 9 for my interview.
@batkaren: Dinosaurs never could've survived til the present day. Could you imagine a stegosaurus in a Honda Civic? It'd be totally ridiculous in 2017.