@wendyraepearce: I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later.
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@: I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like--it was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
@Home_Halfway: How about a new eco-friendly car that is powered only by uncomfortable conversation
@daemonic3: Doctor told me I only have 6 months to live, maybe 12 if I get enough likes on Facebook.