@birbigs: I just did yoga. No wait, yogurt.
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@Jennuflect: [taking my final breaths after a freak accident] Tell my family I totes love them *gasping for air* but like, roll your eyes real hard
@trevso_electric: Isn't it so awkward when you misplace a Rolex? It's like, do I want to tell people that there's a free Rolex on the loose? Relatable, right?
@NicestHippo: WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]