@DamienFahey: I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, "That's where it belongs."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imskytrash: LOL: laughing out loud SMH: shaking my head LMAKNIWNFYSP: leave me alone kyle no i will not follow your SoundCloud page
@Mikestanley1: [pulls up after first date] Me: well, this is my place Her: a bouncy house? Me: you expected a bouncy castle? IM SORRY "YOUR MAJESTY."
@trojansauce: [getting a haircut] BARBER: anything else? ME: cut me BARBER: what? no ME: like sweeney todd BARBER: i'm no- ME:make me into a pie
@dvoted_hubsand: I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like "thank God it Friday!" or "Im pregnant of baby"