@DamienFahey: I just dropped my phone in the toilet and for a second I stood over it and thought, "That's where it belongs."
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@GinRumMe: History: delete Pics: delete Texts: delete Kik: delete "Why yes, you can use my phone for a second."
@DurtMcHurtt: This guy in my living room must think I'm an idiot, he says he picked my lock but I distinctly remember choosing it at the store by myself.
@NicCageMatch: Trying to take the best instagram picture ever but the kittens keep drowning in the latte.