@Reverend_Scott: I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
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@DanMentos: "Mom guess what I'm getting married!!!" Is he rich? "I think so. His name is Charles Mansion"
@FunnyMojoJojo: When one door closes another one opens. ... Or you could just re-open the closed door. Because that's how doors work...!!
@FloodyHippie: My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates