@CruelMeiga: I just finished a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn't mine.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Parentpains: Apparently "I'll break your god damn legs" isn't the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
@hazelmotes1: I just picked a Chapstick up from my bedside table, spent 30 seconds trying to get the lid off with my teeth, then realized it was a battery
@rodney_at_large: If the final comments of your speech last 45 minutes, please don't preface them with "and lastly".