@Phook75: I just folded a fitted sheet so beautifully an owl just delivered a Hogwarts acceptance letter to my house
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@drewtoothpaste: I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it's important.
@ChrChristensen: "Do you believe in evolution?" "No" "Global warming?" "No" "Racial Equality?" "No" "Then what makes The West superior? "Science! Logic!"
@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus #GoodFriday
@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.