@TheMichaelRock: I just found my old Nokia phone from 2003. It still has 87% battery life left.
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@causticbob: The kidnapper rang and said "£10,000 and you get your wife back" "Negotiate with him!" advised the policeman "£20,000 and she's all yours"
@littlelady899: But were you called "dream wife" on the internet today? Oh, you were. By the same guy? I see.
@darrinfb: Ok America. You've made us chuckle with this whole Trump 2016 thing. But if we see Kanye 2020 happen... No. More. SYRUP. Love, Canada