@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
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@Book_Krazy: Pro-tip Ladies, try to refrain from plucking that one crazy hair from his nose while he's sleeping. He won't think it's as funny as you do.
@causticbob: Someone recently asked me, "What blood type are you?".. I said , "The red runny type".
@AlexvanBeek: Don't bore a girl by saying she's beautiful, like every other shallow creep Grab her interest by saving her from a staged hostage situation