@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
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@Rollinintheseat: St. Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland. They gave him a great Uber rating.
@LackOfShame: Server: Would you like another glass of wine? Me: I'm sorry, I don't have time Server: For the wine? Me: No, for silly questions
@thepunningman: Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies Oil the single ladies If you liked it then you should have put a rig on it
@ceejoyner: Using spin moves while allowing an opponent's sword to narrowly miss your head forces them to add majestic layers and volume to your hair.