@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
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@Snarfernini: I'm a wealth of knowledge Unless you want it to be true Then I'm pretty solid on about 6 topics 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
@david8hughes: [at ultrasound] Nurse: there it is. There's your baby Me visibly relieved: oh Jesus thank u Wife whispering to nurse: he thought it was bees
@enigmaterics: I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside.
@KrunkedRobot: My email password has been hacked. That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.