@BareChesty: I just found out I passed my drug test.... Which means my dealer has some explaining to do.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: Before I play it, I hold the needle from the record and whisper 3..2..1. It's the vinyl countdown.
@david8hughes: [first day as a negotiator] Me: release one hostage Terrorist: no Me: release half of one hostage
@JasonLastname: Farmers are always so proud of themselves until you ask if they can put the milk back in the cow