@giftedrascal: I just found out my mum didn't know how to set the clock on their new microwave. So they stayed up until midnight & then plugged it in
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@davidschneider: God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how's 2016 been? Did you cope OK? Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine.
@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.
@causticbob: Windows: "You may be the victim of software counterfeiting" no Microsoft,it is you who is the victim of software counterfeiting here, not I