@theshamingofjay: I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: Ladies, if he says he would go to the "end of the earth" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland.
@causticbob: My gf just sat me down and confessed to me that she used to be a Christian. It came as quite a shock; I've only ever known her as Christine
@AimeeHelene1: Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I'll be telling everyone it's from having sex while skydiving.
@samalmightysam: "It's impossible." said pride. "It's risky." said experience. "It's pointless." said reason. "Ggrraadrttgrrtrr." said Chewbacca.