@theshamingofjay: I just googled Magnum condoms and I swear I could hear Siri laughing.
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@ChrisStokdyk: Do you ever wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say, "My God, I look like a pillow" ? If so, that's not a mirror - it's your pillow.
@Birdhumms: "Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead" she hexed.
@Mr_Kapowski: Travel Agent: Hello sir! Interested in a vacation? Me: *puts cat on the phone* [20 mins later] Travel Agent: I've got you booked for Maui
@theB6Chronicles: WHAT DO WE WANT!? A forum for passive aggressive behavior! WHEN do we want it? NOW would be great but you seem busy sooo whatever.