@corinnemlwsw: I just had my tubes tied, and now I'm........inconceivable.
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@flashember: YOGI: Close your eyes and breathe. ME: [angrily rolling up my mat] I was under the impression this was a picnic and you were a talking bear
@IamEnidColeslaw: watch only the first and last episodes of How I Met Your Mother. you're welcome
@TheTobbie: NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!