@RobDenBleyker: I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing.
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@EasilyTempted: If you love a balloon, set it free. If it comes back to you, it probably wasn't a balloon.
@Thedudish: As my girlfriend was trying on jeans, a clerk asked her "Need a bigger size?" I saw the look on her face and went to make room in the trunk.
@junejuly12: If I'm extra friendly and super sweet when I see you again, it's cause I've forgotten your name
@PaulyPeligroso: I stash my weed in the middle of a bunch of Russian nesting dolls so when the cops are searching for it they give up like after 5 dolls.