@RobDenBleyker: I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing.
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@nattylumpo88: Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Did you use my highlighter? 2-year-old: Me: 2: Me: 2: No. Apparently she’s always been neon yellow.
@chelliet22: Maybe the reason you're not having *sexual intercourse* is because you call it sexual intercourse.
@POTerritory: Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,