@Home_Halfway: I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952.
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@Ideal_Victoria: Just once, I want someone to look at me and say, “That’s her. She’s the one” And not follow it with “who ate cake out of the garbage”
@RandomAntics: gonna have me one of them sexy closed-casket funerals, leave somethin to the imagination
@aveuaskew: "Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
@PetrickSara: [Married pillow-talk] Husband: What's your deepest fantasy? Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table.