@Home_Halfway: I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952.
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@Staggfilms: Me: You can't fire me, I quit! Boss: You can't quit, I fired you! Me: You can't quit me, I'm fire! Boss:... *our eyes lock and we kiss*
@abbycohenwl: Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic
@Arbitral: Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker.