@sixfootcandy: I just left a pregnancy test box in my brother's bathroom to mess with him and his new girlfriend.
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@TheMichaelRock: I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves.
@fanofhell: For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
@Traceylei2: Tried to get my 7 year old cousin to play Hungry Hungry Hippos but the fences at the zoo are really high.
@cwhudson: *taps on a super old dude's oxygen tank* you know that you can get this stuff for free right