@TheMichaelRock: I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight.
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@Adar79Angie: Joined a gym once. 12 bystanders were injured. So much blood. 2 people renounced their faith. At night I still hear the treadmill screaming.
@kentgrossarth: Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can't chug this entire beer, right now.
@JasonLastname: I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens.
@Inconsteveable: Me: "Can I leave work half an hour early?" Boss: "Only if you make up the time." "OK. It's 35 past 50." Boss: "Just go.."