@TheMichaelRock: I just plugged in a USB cord on the first try. My wife is in for a treat tonight.
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@NoorShamma: Understand men, or die trying. Or try dying. Or quit trying. Or lie crying. Or cry tweeting. Or tweet trying, to understand men.
@ThePocketJustin: The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now.
@shatty48: Now that I've removed my windshield wipers I shouldn't be getting anymore parking tickets.
@KeetPotato: [airport] "you should have used a tag" [a horse emerges on luggage belt] noone else has brought a horse linda [another horse appears] oh FFS