@LoriLuvsShoes: I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write "wash me" on her face
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@kelseydarragh: brain: go to gym body: please, go to gym spirit: GYM!!!!!!!!!! me: I'm gunna go get pasta
@jilleb163: My "I'm enraged!" status update on Facebook garnered a lot of congratulations from people who don't read well.
@itsrealTED: "I need a boyfriend" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty.