@LoriLuvsShoes: I just saw a woman with a tremendous amount of make up and I was really tempted to use my finger and write "wash me" on her face
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@funnyordie: When it comes to Pope vs. Trump, do you take the side of the guy who wears that ridiculous thing on his head or the Pope?
@sirmunchie: Me: I'll write u a haiku! Her: I'm just impressed u know how to spell haiku. Me: *deletes "how to spell high-koo" from browser history*
@markydoodoo: Birthdays were invented by big wax corporations to sell more candles with numbers on them.